Being in business for myself, I was told, would be stressful. Too busy or too quiet – a life of extremes. Eight months in, I agree! This year has been more extreme than employee life.

But stressful… the jury’s still out. It has the potential to be a lot less stressful than employee life. (Ask me in a few years when the dust has settled!) 

This blog compares both lifestyles and offers 3 lessons if you’re thinking of launching out on your own. 

Rhythmic, defined focus as an employee 

As an employee, I had two or three workshops a week every week, with maybe a quiet patch at the end of the year where people were winding down for Christmas. Because of the reliable rhythm, I constantly felt occupied. I always knew what my next task was, and the focus of my work was narrow.  

I prepared for training, ran training, followed up after training, and supported other writing trainers on staff. All my professional development was about training skills or writing skills. Which was great, because I absolutely LOVE training! 

Now the focus is so much wider 

I still spend a lot of time training people. But the rhythm is different. Some weeks I’m training every day; other weeks nothing.  

Don’t get me wrong – I have plenty to do on those other weeks. Hello to my new friends marketing, sales, finance, networking, strategy, and tech skills!  

But none of these things are my speciality … yet. (If you want a steep learning curve, become self-employed.)  

What I liked about being employed 

I liked having workmates in the same office as me. Miraka and our two support people are dream workmates, but none of us live in the same city. Fully remote is different and I miss having colleagues physically around me every day.  

I liked other people telling me what to do. This sounds funny, but it was nice not to be responsible for the success or failure of the business. It was comforting to simply do, and to trust that the decisionmakers had strategy and risk under control.  

I liked reporting to someone else. I’m a child of the 80s – external validation is my catnip. I loved having workmates who thanked me, believed in me, pushed me out of my comfort zone, and then congratulated me when I did the new thing.  

But enough nostalgia!  

It was time for me to grow. I was ready and excited – and who better than Miraka to guide me through this transition to self-employment?   

What I like about being self-employed

I like the freedom. I know, I know, it’s a horrid cliché, but it’s actually true. Some days, like yesterday, I don’t work. It was Monday, but my to-do list was short enough that I did the urgent things and then spent the rest of the day looking after myself. Some days, like today, I start work at 5am because the urge to blog woke me up. The muse now strikes whenever she feels like it.  

There’s an unexpected glory to following my body’s energy levels rather than a clock. 

I like the creative freedom, and I like being forced to be creative. I have to produce content every week. And I can choose how it looks, what it says, and why it says what it says. 

Parenting is so much easier. The art teacher at Hannah’s school wants a hand? I can turn up. Braces appointment? Sweet as. After-school meeting about Lucy’s progress? Easy.  

And, yes, the money. I like that I can pay for the braces. I can pay tradies to sort out the deferred maintenance on the house. I’ll be able to pay off the mortgage quicker. I can feel momentum and hope in my financial goals. For a single mum, this is BIG.  

The lessons – competence, communication, and courage 

Here are the lessons I’ve learned after 8 months of being in business for myself.  

1 Accept that you’ll be less competent 

I feel a lot less competent than I used to feel working in a big team. I’m a beginner when it comes to selling services, marketing them, being my own tech support, and doing the finances. I spend a lot of time obsessing over how not good I am at those things. 

At least I’m confident in the ‘actual work’. The parts of the job I can’t be confident about, I can be courageous about. I can decide to learn book-keeping and marketing strategies. 

It was like this with the jazz singing too. (I had a business in my 20s singing jazz.) I was very confident with the singing. The bits of the job that wore me down were the other bits. 

• Going door to door every day at restaurants asking for gigs 

• Agreeing on prices with the venues that meant I left with something in my pocket  

• Sorting out musicians who would turn up on time every time  

• Trying to salvage relationships with clients when musicians didn’t turn up (happened more than once!) 

The lesson – embrace the incompetence 

From the jazz singing, I learnt that running the show – and enjoying it – means I need to embrace all aspects of the job and decide to get good at them, even if they don’t come naturally to me. 

So, determined to succeed this time, I’m jumping in the deep end of accessory-skill acquisition. Yes, I’m excited about the day I’ll be able to hand those tasks to someone else, but for now, it’s a chance to learn. 

2 Communication is everything 

The interactions I have with the people who are teaching me these new skills show me what I value when I’m playing the role of client. What I’ve learnt so far: 

It’s important to be available to clients 

Even one unanswered email can leave me wondering why I don’t matter to my service provider – especially because in this world of small business, I know them all by name. 

It’s important to be respectful to clients 

Some of the people I’ve had services from or learnt from haven’t been polite. They’ve been hasty and blunt in their replies, and I get offended. Then I find it very hard to be open to whatever advice they have to offer. 

It’s important to be proactive with clients 

I genuinely appreciate the people who keep popping up in my inbox, reminding me to prioritise the things that they prioritise (the things I paid them to make me prioritise!) The little reminders, the way I can tell they’re in the wings, waiting to support me again if I need it ... I feel cared for. 

The lesson – prioritise communication 

Everything on this list has to do with communication. Communication really matters. And I know it’s not just me – it matters to anyone with breath and a heartbeat. 

I can’t control others’ responses – whether they respond at all, whether their response is word salad – but I can keep my own communication clear. I can be easy to work with. 

3 You need courage 

Perfect timing – I started a business right as the recession hit! Major bummer. But I tell myself I’m still functioning in this environment, so I’ll thrive when good economic times arrive. Courage. 

The external environment, like recessions, pandemics, or political change, requires our courage. But so does the nature of business itself. 

Business is messy!  

I remember so much mess in the jazz-singing business. People negotiate prices – ‘I’ll throw in a free meal if you perform for half price’.  

Or they misunderstand you ‘I thought it was $100 for everyone, not $100 per performer’.  

People leave you in the lurch without telling you – ‘Oh, sorry I didn’t turn up to perform. I was sick.’  

They get offended – ‘But you’ve always given us a discount!’ ‘That’s because you asked for one before. You didn’t ask for one this time.’ 

I don’t do well with mess. I like clear criteria for success that I can work towards and achieve. And I’m guessing you’re the same? We need courage. 

The lesson – choose your self-talk 

Courage doesn’t magically appear. I decide to be courageous. My self-talk and the things I say out loud either freak me out or build me up. I’m getting better at noticing my thoughts and words, and reframing ones that don’t support me.  

Some of my most useful mantras for pushing through fear: The only way is through. You’ll get good at this soon. Feel the fear and do it anyway.  

My mantras for having fun even when it all feels so uncertain: The journey is the destination. This will be a precious memory one day – notice it. 

And my mantra for trying something new on social media: Everyone forgets in a few days, so just post it! 

So, 8 months in… 

I thought going into business would be swapping one job for another. Instead, it’s been a personal-growth rocket. It’s been humbling, invigorating, and exciting. It’s a life of extremes – but extremes that I’m ready for. 

Here’s to another 8 months of growth, experimentation, and learning! 

And while we’re here… 

Want help with the communication aspects of going into business for yourself? It just so happens that I have the help you need!